went to the interview on saturday at singapore zoo. but ii am so kinda sad. because is not how ii know. ii just have to work in the shop there but nt out at the zoo there. sianns. they confirmed me but is whether for me to decide whether ii wanna work there not. but ii really kinda dun like the feeling working there. got to go another interview on friday which is at kkh. ii dunno how will it be like. now the bill matter is not settle yet. ii tot it was settled. but nope. it actually sent the bill to uncle no name. got a sense like we burden him down. lets hope everything is fine. ii am very tired nowsdays. got to prepare for the Beg gromming test. bought a former shirt from G2000. ii love it. hope it go with me back skirts.
♥ 6:19 pm
I am finally back to sch !!!!!!!!! so happy. we chatted all the way but during RNT got a bad news. got debarred from OIT test. must appeal lo. sianns. hope ii am able to appeal sucessfully cause ii dun wanna take my exam late. pls pls pls !!! have fun with mates in class but during RNT ii totally dun understand what the teacher are saying den ask rahul to teach me. what ii have done shocked out his life. hahahaha!! forget it lahhs. now just woke up abit boring. okays la. they kpkb liaos bbyes!!!
♥ 9:01 pm
I Am finally down with Mr.Fever and Ms.Flu is abit xin ku and ii get mc for 2 days. but ii miss sch 3 days this week. hope ii dun miss lots of lesson ><. Morning woke up feel abit feverish den took tem. omg is 38. den head super duper pain. so ii rest awhile wake up le head to the polyclinic. maybe ii am early is lesser ppl havent 2 hours ii collect my medicine den head home. use the com for awhile den ii go slp le. the stupid babi go wake me up with his music. they bought dinner for me den eat lo. mother said tat tml is the 7 month starting date. so means cannot go out till late late den go home for 1 month le. sad sad. now ii am kinda worry about my attachment wondering tat ii could get a job not. hope ii could get one and dun need work at mac. God bless pls.
♥ 12:17 am
Today nv go school. the moment i woke up head started to pain. getting ready was very hard for me today. so i intend not to go sch. cause i dun wanna waste time there yet after tat come back. pathetic on bed till 3pm. den wake up ii tot the pain will go off. yet it didnt. ii am worrying tat ii would get a job for my attachment not. after sending so much resume but only one replyed. but after tat no news. haiis. why am ii so unlucky? This is life which ii hate it to core because nothing is smooth in my life. ii am so down now. which make me dun feeling like stay at home.
♥ 6:12 pm
Sorry for not posting so many days cause got too much thing happen. happy or not happy. Friday went to cityhall with classmates to countdown YOG suppose to stay till 9 but we around 6 plus went off le. have fun took alot of pictures. it is coming out on my next post. Saturday went to bugis for the flag day. we are super slack. =)) at night went to movie with baby and christine we watch The Proposal. super nice and super funny. hahas! we went to mostafa after tat for shopping. there is ultimate smelly. ii dunno what smell but ii just dun like. sorry. nowadays really bother about lots of things. already got no time yet have to do housework. if ur at home why cant eu just helped? this is a house not school even in school students also help out keep the classroom clean right? ii really got no energy le. ii keep dragging myself to do things. what is family for? care and love eu? but why cant ii feel it? ii really wanna to love my family but why cant eu guys to let me feel tat eu love me? why ii always feel tat eu ppl cant see or feel me? infront of brother and sister mum seems like she cant see me.mum ii really loves eu. I REALLY LOVES MY FAMILY! BUT WHY CANT THEY LET ME FEEL TAT THEY LOVE ME TOO? II DONE SO MUCH THINGS FOR THEM WHY CANT THEY SEE OR FEEL IT? WHY AM II LIKE TRASH INFRONT OF THEM? whys? ii dunno. ii really dunno. when ii need help is there anyone who gives me a helping hand? when ii need someone to rely on is there someone for me? sometimes ii really feeling like dying or cutting myself up.die maybe selfish because ii left the one who love me the most behind suffering or maybe there wont be ppl suffering or crying over my death? but when ii die who is going to take care mom? Brother? Sis? ii dunno. ii dun wan her to be alone. cause she is my beloved mom. cutting myself up will only make him angry ii know.tats why i didnt do it. now the only thing tat held me back to live is only jingxun and mom. ii only hope they appreciate what ii have done for them and this family. ii might have change. change to rude? this is what brother said. he say ii had become rude. but there is also a reason for this. ii might have change but this is me. ii dun wan to become like last time. weak and let ppl bully. ii dun wan. ii wanna lead my own life.why must there be death and ppl leaving eu? ii really hate it. eu call this life. but ii really hate life! hate this kind of life! btw saying all this in blog doesnt mean wanna let reader to pity me or whatsoever. Blog is only the place whr ii can spill all my unhappiness. sometime ii really wish ii can not being so sensitives and so emotional.
♥ 11:47 pm
it is the worst day ii had today. ii shld meet shukai at clementi because ii reachhed there early so we meet at house downstair. ii am already tired for the past few days worrying about things and wonder how ii could solve it. ii am already having headache because of it. but why cant just my family member understand? just because ii dun say and eu tot that there is no such things in my life? ii have lots of problem but ii didnt say because i dun wan eu guys to worry but why cant eu guys have the mind of me? ii am okay of taking care ur child but not when ii am worry and fed up times. ii can lose my heads off.ii dun mind taking care of the baby but at least give me a time to let me know what time is ppl coming to pick him.tat doesnt mean tat ii hate the baby. infact ii know tat ii do this will let eu guys hate me. but spare a thought for me. ur going out to eat steamboat no working.what i hate the most is eu guys go out and have fun and expect me to stay at home to take care of the baby? come on. THINK OF ME LAHHS.
♥ 8:35 pm
Nowaday ii am really totally no energy liaos. ii have too much things of myself to worry already stop adding problem to me. ii really cant take it anymore. the burden ii am carrying is still now with me. ii really hope ii can let go this time. at this point of time my loves one cant be with me he has to work. why ii can bear with him but not my family? ii dunno whats happening to me lahhs. ii always flared temper at home nowadays which ii really dun wan and ii hate it. ii really wan someone who can let me lead on now. this tat is not said doesnt mean it is not there. ii am now really very worried and lost. no one is able to help. ii am really feeling helpless..
♥ 9:44 pm
woke up late used com and ah jie they all play mahjong. made breakfast for tml lo. lucas now slping at our house tonite. there is a things tat ii am worrying at lahhs. but hope it can faster give it a end. God bless. Thanks
♥ 11:36 pm
Today wake up damn early 12++ because is warm due to aircon waas nt cold noisy is because my brother SNORE ! den woke up saw my mummy and someone ii hate the most. ii dun wanna say who is that.lucas was here also same thing ii use laptop. baby wan meet me at lot1 at 6pm. the maid done alot of housework for us. thankks. den ii went to meet baby at lot 1 we walk walk and eat dinner lo. go home den he fallen asleep in the bus. ii can see he is very tired. so after tat he go home le lo as tml he is working tml in the morning till 10. got abit heartache ii really dun wan him to be so busy. next week he is going to work 5 days means only tuesday and friday he off day but ii guess he will spend the time to rest. ii can only give him my moral support. hope his work dun affect his school work. reachhed home den bring the tibits ii bought for lucas give him eat. he so cute lehhs. ahahahs! ma and eileen tan is using webcam playign around and also flooding the facebook main page full of quizzes ! hahas. okays lahhs. wanna go slp le ! good night !!!!!
Baby: baby ii am so scared that our feeling will fade.i love eu always.
♥ 2:00 am
